Picture this… you are behind the wheel of a Maruti Zen on Bangalore roads ( easy for me to relate this way!!) but you are only behind the wheel physically.. and u seem to have time for the whole world in this brief stint (although bangaloreans will tend to argue that a stint behind the wheel on Bangalore roads is anything but brief!!) you are on the phone… either with the hands-free or the loudspeaker.. or are holding it to ur ear in one hand and controlling the steering in the other.. (sometimes I wonder why automatic transmission is not the norm here, given the heavy self-imposed multi-tasking requirement!!) you are processing what the guy (or girl!!) at the other end is speaking and are replying… all the while with an eye and half an ear on the road (the other half opens when the stupid Tata Sumo driver behind falls off to sleep on his steering and consequently, horn!!)
You drive around with the phone call done and u need a new distraction to keep u engaged while u drive… so u start fiddling with the radio stations… (sometimes with the foot firmly on the accelerator pedal!) You need to turn right at Marathahalli bridge towards airport road.. the signal has turned green… u r on the leftmost lane and u turn all the way crisscrossing thru traffic that is needlessly honking from behind (hell, man!! U r the boss.. how dare they honk when u r changing lanes without indicating)
and then u come cross marathahalli bridge and stop at agra chat (u know this is supposed to be famous chaat from north india…. And all of the south Indians in bangalore come here every evening!!) .u pull over to the left (without signaling, of course) and head off for a quick bite (like Schumacher leaving his car in the middle of the Monaco track and walking away with the steering!) .satisfied with the snack, u finally resume ur “race” ( having counted the number of minutes for the pit stop) and then make ur way into bumper-to-bumper traffic on airport road (some say no longer bumper to bumper because the airport has shifted to devanahalli)… and u have this amazing knack of being able to sway around from the left most lane to the right most lane all in a matter of half a kilometer as if looking for a perfect chicane (corner, for the formula one ‘fans’) to overtake the train of cars in front.. and then u reach ur destination … Inox in Garuda Mall and drive into the parking lot (with the look of a Schumacher who has just driven a grueling race!!) The only thing missing is the podium presentation and the national anthem… which by the way, Lido Cinema plays these days… so next time you want that sense of achievement, head to Lido… J
And then the five lights illuminate (steve slater style!!)... and the French Grand Prix at Magny Cours has begun..!
Interesting!
ReplyDeleteI always wonder why people can't forget that they are normal human beings with blood and flesh while driving/riding in Bangalore. The natural human tendency of survival of the fittest is the one that governs Bangalore driving habits. Having said that, this is more or less the same everywhere in India except probably Mumbai (where traffic rarely moves). Then there are these advocates of foreign driving habits (the techies who travel abroad regularly for months together). They believe that Indians (excluding them) are horrible drivers. These guys come to India and you normally find them on their 2 wheelers speeding on the footpath or driving on the right-hand side of the road (as that is the norm in Americas and many other countries)... Oops..I even managed to read and comment on this exciting blog from Abhi, while I was negotiating the traffic at Marathahalli signal…
i guess the survival of the fittest tendency seems to be there all along and it gets magnified in long queues where people try to get one over the other and of course, in traffic queues, where the perception of 'size of the vehicle matters' rules.
ReplyDeleteGuess u need to get an f1 drive soon with ur 'multi-tasking commenting' ability! :)